The Masters, Matthew McConaughey, and In-N-Out's New HQ

Welcome to the Good Times, your stop for great writing, amusements, and fascinating stuff from the last few days (in 5 mins or less).

Yes, we're doing this to amuse America (and ourselves), but we also donate 10% of our revenue to education and affordable housing charities. So kick back and enjoy.

The Good Times Roundup

• THE MASTERS: The real start of Spring's here! It's Masters week, and to get our minds right, here are a few gems from the LA Times on some tournament traditions:

  • The Crow's Nest: The converted attic in the Augusta National clubhouse has housed tournament amateurs going back decades. Phil Mickelson snuck down to steal a glance at the champions locker room during his stay. Curtis Strange pushed through a window and sat on the roof in the late 70s. And Jack Nicklaus went for a second steak in the kitchen after hours (he was told he'd have to pay for it).

  • The Secret of Augusta National's White Sand: Originally a waste product from a much bigger mining operation, the sand (and the quartz that gives it the brilliant white) has become the most prized in golf. Tiger recently shipped three truckloads to his Florida home, and it's produced in only one place on the planet: Spruce Pine, NC. But even crazier? The same Spruce Pine quartz (in its purest form) is used to produce silicon chips and sells for more than ~$20k/ton.

  • Masters Caddie Coveralls: Designed for pig and chicken farmers in the 50s, the coveralls are now iconic. They too sell for hefty sums (toddler version here for $109).

• MCCONAUGHEY YELLOWSTONE SPINOFF'S A GO: Sometimes things just come together. Paramount confirmed last week that the rumored Yellowstone spinoff starring Matthew McConaughey is a 'go' regardless of whether Kevin Costner returns to the OG series. Costner's status has been uncertain for months due to reported ‘scheduling conflicts,’ often Hollywood code for ‘power-struggle-between-producers-on-a-schedule-and-a-star’s-titanic-ego.’ But McConaughey stepping into the Dutton family canon is something to celebrate, and we haven't been this excited since Matthew endorsed Wild Turkey.

• CLINT EASTWOOD'S FINAL NEXT FILM SET WITH WARNER BROTHERS: Clint's next movie, Juror #2, has been announced and some in the press are framing it as his 'final' one. Clint Eastwood, however, has made no such announcement, so why the spin? While it's tempting to speculate (probably totally unrelated: Warner Bros CEO David Zaslav Blasted Execs for Greenlighting Clint Eastwood Flop Cry Macho), we will not.

  • 'Unofficial' (read: we made it up based on scant info online) Juror #2 logline for any interested: Juror in a murder trial, possibly guilty of the crime himself, wrestles with whether to speak up or let an innocent man go to jail.

• VAN GOGH'S CYPRESSES COME TO THE MET: A new Van Gogh exhibit is coming to the Met in May where classics like Starry Night will take centerstage.

• IN-N-OUT ANNOUNCES ASTRODOME AS NEW HQ - We wish this was true - happy belated April Fool's.

• THIS WEEK IN FLORIDA MAN: A Florida Man Held Onto a Drawbridge for Dear Life as it Raised to let Boats Go By

Take the Day Off 🥕

Because today's International Carrot Day (it's Easter Week after all).

Carrot Day began in 2003 and festivities 'have been reported' in France, Italy, Sweden, Russia, Australia, Japan, and the UK. Please celebrate responsibly.

With every newsletter we'll run a featured article on topics ranging from kids, dogs, news, sports, or anything in between. We aim to amuse - put another way, if Mark Twain were alive today we'd desperately try to hire him. Thanks for reading and without further delay...  

Today's Article: Ride, Boldly Ride, a Letter to Stella

This is a series of Letters to my toddler daughter.

Before I dive into today's Letter I'd like to state upfront that I know nothing about poetry. So shallow is my knowledge that it reminds me of the Seinfeld bit about horseback riding - when asked 'what level rider are you?' Jerry responds 'I don't know, zero, nothing.'

I'm a zero/nothing wrt poetry prowess.

Even so I have a pre-packaged answer for 'what's your favorite poem' and no, it's not because it's the only one I know - I read at least a dozen in High School - but it is the only one that's stuck with me. After hearing it, I shared it immediately with a friend at a bar (it was that important) and he was comparably bowled over. He even considered tattooing a line on his forearm. Never happened but still...

So what is this mess of words that made such an impact? 'Eldorado' by Edgar Allan Poe. Poe wrote 'Eldorado' in 1849 at the height of the California Gold Rush when hundreds of thousands flocked West to find their fortune. Against that backdrop came this short masterpiece about a knight from the Age of Exploration who devotes his life to finding El Dorado, the mythical lost city of gold.

Of course, El Dorado never existed, and neither did the vast stores of gold so many pursued in the hills of California. But Poe's poem doesn't celebrate practicality - just the opposite in fact, and that's what's stuck with me all these years.

So without further throat-clearing, the poem:

'Ride, boldly ride.' That's the line my friend threatened to tattoo on himself, and why not. As Peter Rodriguez says in his Last Lecture, it’s a beautiful message. Instead of pointing and mocking the knight for his failure like Nelson from the Simpsons, the pilgrim shadow emphatically says keep going, boldly.

We tend to overvalue destinations after all - I've fallen into that trap over and over believing that if I could only achieve X or do Y, then I'd finally arrive at Shangri-La (or El Dorado if we're sticking with the theme).

But of course, we never reach El Dorado. El Dorados are mirages, and so are the payoffs we think come from reaching them.

It's journeys, especially tough ones, that deliver rewards. You’ll fail as you go just like our friend the knight, but fight the temptation to quit or take easier roads. A life free of failing probably means a life free of trying hard things, and that my girl is unacceptable. Everyone starts as a zero/nothing, remember.

So be bold and indomitable on your road to El Dorado - life's biggest rewards await.

Lastly, a Good Tune