Snoop & the Olympics, an Indoor Smoker, and the Genius of the Naughty List

Welcome to the Good Times. We all need a break, and we’d love to be yours in your regular news diet. Count on us for great reads, amusements, and fascinating stuff from the last week or so (in 5 mins or less).

Yes, we're doing this to amuse America (and ourselves), but we’ll also donate 10% of revenue to education and affordable housing charities when we start monetizing (not to worry though, this will remain a free newsletter). So kick back and enjoy.

The Good Times Roundup

MUSIC: Grace Bowers, Nashville's 17-year-old blues prodigy. If you're a Nashville local, you might want to keep an eye out for a guitar genius currently on the dive bar circuit. She arrived a couple years ago from the Bay area and her freckles and curly hair belie a talent that's now grabbing attention from A-listers like Lainey Wilson, Billie Eilish, and Wynona Judd. Rolling Stone and USA Today did a couple write-ups on her, and below's a recent vid (fully worth the 3 mins). Catch her now in a small venue, she'll be onto arenas soon:

grace__bowers

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CHINA: China's baby bust could cut its population by 60% in coming generations. In April of last year, India overtook China as the world's most populous country, and it appears that was no mere blip: per the UN, by 2050, India's population will reach nearly 1.7B while China's is projected to shrink to 1.3B. Several explanations have been offered, starting with China's 1-child policy that ended in 2015. The Chinese government hoped for a population surge after lifting it, but instead they've seen the opposite: the number of babies born has dropped by more than 50% from 2016-2023, and per the WSJ article above, it's Chinese women who are asserting themselves. Interesting read about cultural shifts and the resulting tensions with the Chinese Communist party.

SNOOP: Snoop Dogg joins NBC's primetime crew for the 2024 Paris Olympics. Could be the best idea ever or something else entirely, but NBC's tapped Snoop to join their team this Summer in Paris. He's back in an expanded role after injecting life into Peacock's Tokyo coverage in 2020 - his take on the equestrian events was hilarious. Optimistic? Yep, for now.

PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM: Clay tablet with the Pythagorean theorem predates Pythagoras by 1,200 years. This is old news, first revealed in 2009 (from what I can tell...) but it's new to me: Pythagoras did not, in fact, invent his own theorem. A Babylonian tablet discovered in Baghdad dating from ~1770 BC, ~1,200 years before Pythagoras's birth, details the mathematical relationship between the sides of right triangles, and stunned survivors of high school geometry everywhere have been left wondering what other lies their teachers told them. While the theorem has new authors, it still holds its prominent place in society - who can forget:

INDOOR SMOKER: GE introduces an indoor smoker. 'They did it! We have it now.' Seinfeld exclaimed ~25 years ago about the seedless watermelon. Accidental seed-swallowing could finally end and a grateful nation rejoiced. Comparable euphoria could result from GE's announcement this week that they're now selling an indoor smoker. About as big as an air fryer and loaded with 'smart features,' the smoker starts at $1,000, so maybe wait a beat before going all-in on this 1st-gen device. But we'll be following its progress closely - hopes are high.

Take the Day Off 🧁

It's National Whipped Cream Day. Grab the Cool Whip and slap it on your treat of choice. 

With every newsletter we'll run a featured article on topics ranging from kids, dogs, news, sports, or anything in between. Thanks for reading and without further delay...  

Today's Article: The Genius of the Naughty List

Christmas consumerism. It's a phrase that probably evokes a furrowed brow and a regretful shake of the head. 

'What a problem,' we tell ourselves, and then vow (lightly, let's be honest) to re-place our priorities next year. 

Paring back the 2-month bonanza that's now Christmas isn't a bad idea. Not everything needs to be drenched in peppermint starting Oct 15th. 

But Santa Claus, the main culprit here, must be protected. 

At all costs.

I've just survived my first real Christmas as a parent (our daughter's 3) and friends, I get it now. Never has there been a better bribery-for-good-behavior system in human history.

I've been stunned by this. Wanna reverse the full force gale of a meltdown in a near instant? Reference the naughty list.

The naughty list miraculously streamlined bedtime, it fostered healthy eating habits ('nice kids don't demand treats every 12 minutes’ I intoned more than once), and it gave ole Dad street cred - when my daughter learned that never, in my life, had I been on the naughty list, she stood at attention. It was incredible. And any time things threatened to go off the rails, I’d simply nod toward the elf on the shelf.

What genius.

Of course, modern parenting types don't like this. 'Gentle parenting' is the new thing, and gurus of the practice would give me stern grumpy cat frowns if they read the above. You see, gentle parenting 'shuns the idea of punishment and rewards' believing we should instead address root causes of bad behavior. 

It’s a splendid idea. The next time my toddler loses it when she doesn't get a purple sticker after ballet (it must be purple, anything else is an unholy aberration) I'll just deconstruct the root cause. Perhaps over espresso and scones.

Or I can go with what the ballet teaching assistant (who's 11) says when she hands the stickers out: 'you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.'

This one 👆 clearly learned a thing or two from the naughty list.

Now, to be fair, gentle parenting’s not all bad. I did extensive research prepping for this article (read: ~6 mins of Googling) and per The New Yorker: 

'in its broadest outlines, gentle parenting centers on acknowledging a child’s feelings and the motivations behind challenging behavior, as opposed to correcting the behavior itself. The gentle parent holds firm boundaries, gives a child choices instead of orders, and eschews rewards, punishments, and threats.'

Baked into this definition is the idea of listening to your child and cultivating a two-way relationship. That I fully support - it can't be all top-down, do-as-I-say. 

But I’m just not sold on unpacking the motivations behind yelling 'mine!' or 'candy!' Do we really need therapy-style sit-downs for this? It seems clear the answers are 'survival!' and 'calories!,’ things parenting should correct from lizard-brain factory settings.

Enter the naughty list. And this doesn't end with childhood of course - to stay off the adult naughty list, one need only refer to federal, state, and municipal laws. Old-fashioned it may be, but reward systems work (just ask an economist). 

So I've decided to halt my exploration of gentle parenting (6 mins was enough) and re-hitch my wagon to words wise enough to be scripture:

You better watch out,
You better not cry,
Better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Santa Claus is comin' to town.

He's making a list
And checking it twice,
Gonna find out 
Who's naughty and nice.
Santa Claus is comin' to town.

He sees you when you're sleepin',
He knows when you're awake,
He knows if you've been bad or good,
So be good for goodness sake.

It was a great Holiday season, made so in large part by Santa. 

And who says that elf on the shelf can't sit there all year round. I'm considering it. If the meltdowns get nuclear, that little guy’s coming back.

More Good Stuff

• 'Streaming anxiety' drives a DVD and Blu Ray comeback

• Google's first server was partly made out of Legos

• The fastest fish in the world

• Spud Webb dunk highlights

• Flag football added as an Olympic sport

• Bo Jackson explains his career to a 10-year-old

• Willie Nelson sings and Richard Pryor 'plays' the saxophone 

Lastly, Spotted Around Town